What if your life was a movie? You would have the lead role. What other co-stars would there be? How would the other characters act? What kind of ending would there be? What would the climax be? Would it be a comedy or a tragedy?

I was listening to the latest album from Band of Horses, while sitting in Caribou working on potential photography business plans. I couldn’t help but keep the title track Infinite Arms on repeat. Every time it would loop, one line stood out:

“It’s like living in a movie, twisting the plot…”

God, the ultimate director, gives Steven Spielberg a run for his money. In fact, He has directed the most movies ever…in all history. For every person in the world there is a grand cinema being lived out daily. Scene by scene, God wrote it and is now directing your very own movie. Cool to think about, eh?

Unfortunately, a lot of times we live like the line in the song. Constantly trying to twist the plot of the life we’re living. If we would just stick to the movie plot that God intended, we could continue to draw close to Him, and we would see his work be fulfilled through us. Yet, once we start twisting the scenes to fit our selfish desires, the plans God had for us begin to be fulfilled through someone else’s movie — ultimately making us to miss out on God’s blessing and favor on our life. We need to stop twisting the plot God has for us and start living out the amazing plot He already wrote for us, the one He wants to see acted out.

We’re even lucky enough to have out takes at the end of our film; every time we mess up a line or don’t act the right way, we’re given another chance to re-shoot the scene! Take after take, God’s mercies are spread all over our movie, because we might forget our lines and mess up a scene. God knows where, when, and how we will mess up in our movie — yet, He STILL chooses to give us another take.


God is the Director of all directors, and it hurts Him to see his actors try to twist the plots. It won’t be easy to get all of our lines and acting right. In fact, it will take a lot of hard work and extra effort, but we can rest assured that our ending will be eternal.

Jesus prayed for his followers; he modeled how we should pray through his word. We’re called to “pray without ceasing” and to “present [our] requests to God” (1 Thessalonians 5:17 & Philippians 4:6). The house I grew up in had a stained glass window in the dinning room, with a picture of Jesus on his knees praying. This picture is a clear representation of what we, as followers of Christ, are called to do…pray continuously.

Prayer is powerful. Things happen when God’s people pray. Yet, we can take prayer for granted sometimes, or at least I know I am guilty of it. Shallowly asking God to forgive my laundry list of wrongs, begging to pass an exam I know I didn’t study for, or asking for things like I’m talking to Santa. Not that there’s a right way and a wrong way to pray; we just need to keep our motives in check.

Prayer is about communicating with God himself, not telling Santa what you want for Christmas. If being able to talk to the Creator of the universe is not powerful to you, I don’t know what else is!? He hears us when we talk to Him. He longs for us to take time out of our day to talk to Him. As in any relationship, communication is the key.

That’s why I LOVED Lighthouse last weekend! Before Lighthouse a group of us met to pray for Lighthouse. Of course, as a Collective we should constantly be praying for Lighthouse, though it seems especially important as we move into a new season. We prayed for anyone coming for the first time, for the future of Lighthouse, for those that attend regularly and that God would move through out the Collective. It was amazing to spend time in prayer before transitioning into worship.

To most of our surprise, we spent a good portion of the night in prayer — instead of listening to a message. The entire Collective lifted up prayers of thankfulness, humility and simple requests to God. We were thankful for those who had gone before us, those that had set the platform we now have to reach more young adults for Christ. We humbly praised God for giving us this new chapter in our ministry, asking God to not let us lose sight of Him through these next big steps. Then we asked God to move in the hearts of those who had never been to Lighthouse before and that maybe by passing out postcards, we would be inclined to reach more young adults in our community.

Last night [Wednesday] I sat with my mom at my brother’s baseball game and told her how cool it was that we had prayed so much at Lighthouse. Not only did a group pray before Lighthouse, but that the entire Collective prayed during Lighthouse as well. The next thing I know, she suddenly started asking all these questions, “When were you praying?!” or “What were you praying about specifically!?”, as I answered her hurried questions, I shot back with a “why”, curious to why she was so excited about us praying during Lighthouse.

My mom began explaining to me the story of a woman she works with. This woman, not a believer, but knows my mom is, came to her in hopes she knew of a good local church for her daughter to get involved at this summer. The daughter became a Christian during high school, therefore wanted to go to a Christian college upon graduation. Now that classes are over, she’s home for the summer and has been struggling to find a church to get plugged into. My mom mentioned that Lighthouse was a great place for college students to get involved at, even if they’re only home for the summer. The woman seemed interested and said she would tell her daughter about Lighthouse.

The following morning my mom goes into work as usual, but this time is different, she is met by the woman from the day before. She begins to exclaim how she had told her daughter about Lighthouse and that she also seemed interested. The same night she had told her daughter about Lighthouse, her daughter went into work at Macy’s and was handed a Lighthouse postcard. The daughter is now planning on coming to the launch of the Summer Series.

When we pray, God hears us.

If we truly want to see God move amongst the Collective and in our community, we cannot stop praying.
God really does move in mysterious ways and prayer does, in fact, work.
Some would call this a coincidence, but I would call it the power of prayer.

Therefore, let us pray.

Surrendering For Good

At the close of my senior year of high school, I hadn’t fully let go of my life and let God take hold of it. My post-high school plans were to go to Bible college and marry a pastor, but when that didn’t work out, I got upset that God wasn’t fulfilling what I thought was His will for my life. I had not taken the blinders off of my plans to fully see Gods plan.

The part of my heart that was being stubborn was being suffocated by embedded sin and was preventing me from seeing what God wanted for my life. It wasn’t until I confessed this embedded sin that I would be able to surrender to God for good.

This surrender was when I started to see the most change in my life. Fully surrendering to God and letting go of past sin, regrets and failures brought such freedom that could only come from Christ. The stubborn part of my heart was beginning to soften.

My life began to rearrange from the moment my graduation party was over and college classes were about to start. I was starting to accept the fact that God must have bigger and better things for me at home, than off at Bible College. I had a new mindset and began to grow into my own faith, a faith apart from parents for the first time. It almost felt like I was a Christian for the first time, really living in the will of God and not looking back. After getting involved at Lighthouse, I even began see how shallow and safe my Christian walk had been before I had surrendered my life to God.

Joining a Kairos group seemed like a given to this work-in-progress-then-college-freshman. After all, it just seemed natural to be involved with mid-week church activities. Kairos, to me, seemed like the usual small group setting I was use to, where I could share my story on surface level and most importantly, socialize with my friends.

It didn’t take long to learn that I had the wrong idea of Kairos and that it was vastly different than any other small group settings I had been involved with before. This word, “vulnerability,” was thrown around a lot in our group, which at first scared me because I didn’t want people to see my flaws, but that’s right when God continued to prick at my heart.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

God has continued to soften my heart through getting plugged into Lighthouse and my Kairos group and growing into my faith and trust in Him. I continue to surrender my thoughts, hopes, dreams, and life to Him. With a more “grown up” faith, I’ve begun to see God in every aspect of life, from tiny things to big things. In the freedom of surrender I have truly become content with my life for the first time, and no longer have reason to hide my flaws from my Kairos group. It’s through sharing struggles with my Kairos girls, that I receive true God-given encouragement and strength to press on. Additionally, the more vulnerable followers of Jesus can get with each other, the more we realize we’re not alone in our struggles.

Realization

All this time, I had grown up in a Christian home, I always knew the church answers, and did the Christian things – but the only thing my Savior EVER wanted was to see me surrendering my life to Him, on my knees singing holy.

It doesn’t matter what we do, what we say, what we wear, or who we meet; all the Savior of the world wants is to see His children on their knees fully surrendering to His purpose. It’s not something that happens over night; it might even take going through valleys and rough seasons for us to even realize how much we truly need a Savior. Knowing Jesus and following after him requires us to fall on our knees and sing holy to the one who gave it all for us on the cross. It takes letting go of the control we think we have over our lives and allowing God to control and guide our lives according to his perfect and pleasing will.

God longs to hold your whole heart. Ask Him to reveal the stubborn parts of your heart that may be holding back from fully surrendering to Him.

Hit In the Heart

The other night I was driving to Oasis (middle school youth group at church) and Nichole Nordeman’s song, Holy came on Detroit’s sad excuse of a Christian music station (but that’s for another blog). Of course, I’ve heard this song hundreds of times, seeing as how back in the day I was only allowed to listen to CCM. With the windows down and her tune blasting, a line hit me right in the heart:

“all You ever wanted was, me on my knees singing holy”

I found myself reflecting on where my life had taken me up to that point, my soul’s journey of a once safe, comfortable faith, and struggle of not letting go of control over my life. Twenty years of a life lived selfishly; all my Savior ever wanted was for me to be brought to my knees. He had patiently been waiting for me to surrender and truly sing “holy” to Him.

The Christian Facade

My name is Courtney Fillmore, and I am a poster child for kids that grow up in a Christian home. I know all the church answers and did all the right things. But it was not until I was nineteen that I truly gave God my life.

Being born into a Christian home doesn’t mean you’re automatically born again into His Home; it simply means your parents are followers of Jesus, and they do their best to “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).”

Because my parents did a good job of training up this child, my life consisted of the following:

Watching McGee and Me, listening to Adventures in Odyssey on the way home from my Christian elementary school, going to AWANA’s every Wednesday, saying “the prayer” when I was six, being at every youth group event, praying for the other kids making decisions at summer camp, knowing how to take communion, not dressing immodestly, wearing a purity ring, working at a Christian camp, not partying, and choosing not date in high school, etc.

This list of actions might have made me stick out to the world, but they never made me a true-leave it all behind, follower of Jesus. Not that I am complaining or wishing I was raised any other way; this list just makes me realize how much I took knowing the name of Jesus for granted.

Knowing Jesus is not doing a list of things to stick out to the world; it’s about a heart change. It took me a long time to realize that being a follower of Jesus was more than doing what Christians are “supposed to do.”

To be a follower of Jesus Christ means you wholly surrender your being to the one who crafted you in your mother’s womb. Letting go of any control you think you have on your own life and letting God take control of it – even if it hurts, isn’t what you wanted or isn’t what you planned. Being a follower of Jesus involves having a heart for God and a desire to live out His purpose. It’s being open to where the Spirit is leading you and selflessly choosing to, “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God..”

Being raised in a Christian home has truly been a blessing, but for me it made me a stubborn Jesus follower. Stubborn in the sense that I knew I was a follower of Christ but was too comfortable doing the right things and wasn’t open to God fully taking control of my life. There was always a piece of me holding back, a stubborn piece of my heart that wouldn’t give in. It took me till I was out of high school to even realize that I hadn’t totally given God my life.

Come back tomorrow for A Soul’s Journey of Surrender: Part 2

It seems like in today’s world we overuse the word love. Not only are we saying it too much, we’re using it wrong. Instead of using love as a verb, we use it as an adjective. We use love to describe our liking of almost everything, or at least I often find myself doing so. I might say; I love this band, I love those jeans, I love my mom, or I love warm weather.

But do I really, actually love these things? A lot of times we say we love things and yet forget all together how to love others. We overuse a word that, as described in the Bible, has a lot more depth to it than expressing our liking of a new pair of jeans.

Love, in the Bible, is a call to action, something sacrificial you do simply because you love someone. Knowing that “luv is a verb,” as DC Talk would say, we can easily see that God didn’t intend love to be a describing word, but an action word. The Bible calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves, but how often do we actually put this kind of love into action?

This time year, the word love is plastered over everything; cards, candies, shirts, and balloons. What if instead of plastering love onto things, we plastered love onto people around us? What if we acted out what love really means? Read 1 Corinthians 13:1-8,13 carefully and see how Paul describes love.

1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Did you observe what love is not and notice what love actually is? Is that how you are going about loving those around you? Whether it’s your boss, professor, family member, or stranger, this is how we’re supposed to love others. These attributes are vastly different than us trying to describe our favorite jeans. Love is an action that the followers of Jesus Christ are called to display on a daily basis.

The Bible says that things of this world are temporary; therefore we must to spend our days loving people more than things. It’s through the action of love that the world will see Christ displayed. Now it’s time we take back what love really means and put into action what God sees as love.

No matter the time of day, I love to observe the sky. What do you see when you look up at the sky? Do you look past the clouds? Can you believe how small we are compared to the sky? Are you quickly reminded of God when you see a pretty sunrise or a storm rolling in?

The sky is quite an intriguing part of creation. Everyone can see it; wherever you are in the world, we all see the same sky. To the human eye, the sky is constantly changing due to the weather and rotation of the Earth. No matter the change we see, its been the same sky since time began. We might see dark rain clouds, floods of red and orange hues, or simply a cloudless blue, but still it remains the same. Day might turn to night and seasons might come and go, but the sky itself doesn’t actually change; we just view it differently.

One summer night my sister and I were driving with the windows down and music blaring, when we were struck by the beauty displayed across the horizon. With my camera strap snug around my wrist, I stuck my camera out the window to snap this photo. It’s in this photo that I am reminded of our never changing God.

Our seasons might change, our view of life might be as bright as the morning or turn as dark as the night, yet we have a Creator that never changes. Our Creator, like the sky, is for everyone. No one is left out when it comes to discovering and knowing the beauty of the Creator, just like the beauty found in a sunset or flashes of lightning.

Psalms 68 says, “Sing to God, O kingdoms of the earth, sing praise to the Lord, Selah, Him who rides the ancient skies above, who thunders with mighty voice”.

God rides the ancient skies. The skies might change views but God is still in them. Even when our circumstances are a cloudy gray or a bright hue, God is there. We can find him in every part of life and every view of the sky.

When we are open to it, God reveals himself in gorgeous and magnificent ways. The Creator of the universe chooses to display a magnificent masterpiece across sky on a daily basis. We are on His mind when he paints the sunrise every morning or brushes in rain clouds. He is everywhere, in everything, and with everyone, just like the sky we see everyday. We serve a Creator just like that the sky is: bigger than we could ever imagine and for everyone, everywhere.

This is Hope. She came into this world fighting a fight she didn’t chose. Born with HIV AIDS in remote Ethiopia, Hope wasn’t cared for the way she needed to be; that’s when God moved in the hearts of a loving family, in hopes that they could adopt. Their hopes came true and Hope was adopted. Now she is able to get the medicine and upbringing needed to live as normal and healthy of a life as she can.

I met Hope two summers ago while ministering at Camp Barnabas. As ignorant as it sounds, I was a tad apprehensive the day I found out that I would be working with a child with HIV AIDS. Growing up unfamiliar with the disease and only exposed to the media’s hyped up awareness, I had no idea what to expect. I knew I couldn’t “catch it” or anything, but for some reason I still felt hesitant to work with a child with this disease.

The day came after all of the training and prepping when the campers made it to camp and I finally got to meet Hope. From the moment Hope walked into the cabin, there was something radiant about this 8-year-old girl. From the get-go all she seemed to know how to do was bring a smile to everyone’s face, forgetting she was even sick.

This radiance about her was HOPE. You could tell that Hope had HOPE. Though she was sick, the HOPE she had made her even her forget–for a moment–that she was sick. For one week, Hope showed me what HOPE looks like.

HOPE is… taking your (what seems endless) medicine without complaining.
HOPE is… smiling & laughing.
HOPE is… living life to our fullest potential & receiving Jesus’ LOVE & MERCY.
HOPE is… real & lasts.

Hope has HOPE… in spite of her earthly circumstance. Do you find true HOPE in the midst of your trials and pain? Do you see HOPE in your daily life? Hope has HOPE in her life; I hope you do to.

I worry about almost everything. My parents are concerned, telling me I am subtracting days from my life because I worry so much. They insist that it raises my blood pressure. I try to hide the fact that I am a worrier and play it off that I am just concerned about a particular situation. I grew up knowing the classic Steve Green kids sing-a-long or jingle “Do Not Worry,” inspired from the verses in Matthew 6:25-34. Today, this song is still stuck in my head, yet I can’t seem to put it into practice.

Take a look with me at what is said in Matthew 6:25-34 (NIV):

Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

In my heart, I know not to worry. I know that it’s technically a sin to worry. When one worries, they are basically telling God, “I don’t trust that You will take care of my needs”. So why do I worry so much!? “My spirit is willing, but my flesh is so weak” (worship throwback). Satan knows I am a worrier, so he takes any chance he has to make me worry - even about the most minutiae things. I hate it.

I know in my heart I trust God and know He has a perfect plan for me, but I need to desperately curve my worrying to resting in the Truth. I need to put into practice my ability to trust God wholly, by not worrying. I love the promise that is given to us in Jeremiah 29:11 (the verse that was on almost every one of my H.S. graduation cards); He KNOWS my plans, and He promises me hope and a future in Him. All over scripture God not only commands us to cease worrying and trust in Him, but He gives us comfort that we are never alone. If God is always with us, then we never have to be afraid.

In Acts 18, God tells Paul in a vision not to be afraid, because He was with him. God opened my heart, eyes, ears, mind, and soul this week to what I need to work on in my far from perfect life. God tells me not to worry; therefore, I must not worry. It’s as simple as that. I want to have a renewed spirit and mindset, with a trust in my Creator where I can’t even find room to worry.

I ran into a girl earlier that I sort of knew from high school - we ran cross country together and were in some classes together. It’s not like we hung out outside of school but we recognized each other and ran in the same circles. To my surprise, she totally knew my name and asked how I was. However, for the life of me I could not remember her name which made me feel horrible because she knew my name.

This isn’t the first time this has happened; it actually happens to me a lot. I don’t know what it is. I just have a hard time with names. I blame it on the fact that I am a twin; therefore, my entire life people have been trying to figure out what my name is. It’s always a luck of the draw or 50/50 chance of getting it right - for a lot of people I come into contact with. As I ‘tweeted’ my frustration, it crossed my mind that God knows everyone’s name — there isn’t a single person that He cannot put a name with a face. That truth gives me such peace!

“And the LORD said to Moses,
‘I will do the very thing you have asked,
because I am pleased with you and
I know you by name”
Exodus 33:17

Our Creator, the One that brought us into existence knows our name! He knows who we are from the inside out. He sees our souls, He knows our longings, desires, and is aware of our fears. Isn’t that what we as humans want? To be known. There is such hope in the fact that my Savior truly knows me and accepts me like a husband knows and accepts his wife! He even knows when we hurt or feel pain. His knowledge far surpasses just our name. He knows the depths of us and sees who we really are when no one is around and yet loves us the same. Knowing this gives me such joy and peace. It makes me want to know the heart of my Savior that much more!

Get to KNOW Your Creator, because HE KNOWS YOU!

What do you think when you think of Detroit? It’s scary, home of the automobile, a big business failure, or almost always cold… if you thought any of those you’re pretty much right on. But do you ever think of the PEOPLE of Detroit? Detroit is the home of so many people, and suburbs or not, millions claim the D as their home. Home unfortunately holds a different meaning depending on who you’re talking to.

To the well-to-do’s of suburbia Detroit, home is over-sized, filled with things, managed by ‘help’ and provides comfortable places to slumber. To the middle class of The D, home may be tighter in space, yet still filled with things and a warm place to rest one’s head at night. To the poor and needy, home may be an uncomfortable bed in a crowded shelter or a park bench in a lonely over grown park.

Homelessness exists everywhere if you look for it, yet it cuts deeper knowing how close to home it is.

A group of people from my church who are passionate about spreading Jesus’ love and hope to the hurting, started going down to a corner in Detroit every Sunday afternoon mid-summer. There, a group of homeless people wait outside of shelter known for crime, drugs and prostitution. Whether it’s staking out a place in front of the chain-linked fence that guards the shelter or sitting on the curb of the three lane one-way street, this is what home is to our friends. Getting to know their stories [Read some here by my talented friend Stefanie] and struggles, while creating community with them is what we are called to do. By meeting some minor and basic physical needs, and being available for their spiritual and emotional needs, we are able to spread Jesus’ message that is for EVERYONE - the message of hope, love, value, forgiveness, and healing.

When I think of Detroit, I think of the potential it has as a thriving city. I believe that the Church holds the key to hope and healing for a hurting City and its people. I believe that there is much potential just waiting to be revealed. A great uprising of restoration on this city can be possible only through Christ and people trusting God will provide, protect and guide.