We all have someone we look up to in our lives. I look up to my younger brother.

My brother just graduated from high school yesterday and was named Salutatorian for his class of 2009. Along with this honor, he was presented with the choice of whether or not to give a speech to his fellow classmates, teachers, and everyone gathered for this celebration. Being the brave person that he is, he accepted the offer and diligently began planning his presentation. On the days leading up to the speech, he began practicing it and putting the final touches on the message he was going to give at the ceremony.

On the day of his graduation, everyone gathered into the sticky, humid gymnasium and took their seats on the far-from-comfortable bleachers. I was so proud of him! I couldn’t believe that I was about to watch my brother graduate from high school, and I couldn’t imagine (and still can’t) having to say good-bye to him when he heads off to college in the fall. Soon the smiling and excited faces of all the graduates came into view as they made their way around the gymnasium and took their seats. After a brief presentation, my brother was called to the stage to give his speech.

I have never been good at public speaking. Just the mere thought of it makes my heart race. But my brother confidently walked to the podium as if he’d done this every day of his life. I couldn’t help but notice how calm and comfortable he was in front of this gym filled with hundreds of people. I’m pretty sure if it were me up there, I would have been passed out on the floor. But that is another story.

As he was finishing up his speech, he stopped at the end to thank his family for their support throughout his life. And then in a gym which was filled with hundreds of people, he thanked his personal Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. And the funny thing is that I knew he would.

I can’t remember exactly what he said about that because I was crying and too overwhelmed with emotion. But I do remember feeling that God was there, that he was present in that gymnasium. I could have reached out and touched Him.

It’s not difficult to talk about Jesus openly in church or in small groups. It’s not hard to talk about Christ with your Christian friends or relatives. But it is another thing to stand up in front of a crowd of hundreds of people who may not have even heard about Jesus Christ before and declare Him your Lord and Savior at your high school graduation. The Bible says in Matthew 10:32-33: “Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.”

My brother is one of the strongest Christians I know, and probably will ever meet. He touches so many lives with his faith in God and the strength and courage he receives from that relationship with Jesus Christ is evident to all. I see how God is working in his life and in the lives of others through my brother Matthew. My brother reminded me that we should use every situation of every day to glorify and declare Jesus Christ is Lord. No matter who is around or what we are doing, all glory and thanks goes to Him! Even in an uncertain and uncharted time in his life, my brother is staying steady on God’s path for him and trusting that God has a plan for his life. Just like there is a plan for each and every one of us. All we have to do is trust in God and give our entire lives to Him. No matter how scary or how tough things can get, of this you can be certain: You will never be alone.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7)

Psalm 34:8: “O taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.”

In my walk with God there have been many ups and downs, just as there are with everyone. We are all far from perfect, to say the least. So many times I’ve gotten on my knees asking for help. “God, please give me strength to do Your will” is a frequent prayer in my life. Sometimes I feel like life is so hectic and busy that I’m just scraping my way through it. But recently I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m the one that’s getting in the way of my relationship with God (Big surprise, huh?). As I read Psalm 34:8, I wondered to myself, “Have I really tasted? Or have I just been one foot in the door?” So many times I feel like people want to have the closest relationship they possibly can with God, but they can’t understand what’s really getting in the way. Sometimes I feel like I’m praying and reading my Bible and trying so hard to live for God, but I don’t understand why things aren’t changing like I expect them to. I’m kind of an impatient person, and I feel like sometimes I just expect a lightning bolt to strike, like suddenly I’ll be some sort of different person, someone more like God. But then I have to remind myself that the Lord works in His own time, in His own ways, and I have to be patient and learn to open my eyes to what He really may be doing in my life.

But here’s another thing I have to ask myself: Am I really giving it all up for Him? Or am I making excuses for myself? Am I really laying my entire life down for Him, saying “Take it, it’s yours”? Have I really tasted what it’s like to live a life completely for Him? In order to do this, I realize I have to trust God with ALL THAT I AM. As humans, we can’t wrap our minds around all that He has in store for us if we just give it all to Him. It’s like we’re afraid to take that last plunge, to really dive into His arms and believe that He will fulfill our needs. Maybe you know you have a friend who’s not the best influence, but you don’t stand up for what you believe because you’re afraid to be lonely. But if we’re in God, we can never be lonely, for He is with us always! Whatever the situation, if we just give it to Him, He will sustain us.

I truly believe that once we ask God into our lives, we will be changed forever. But in order for that to happen, we need to completely put to death the person that we were instead of making excuses because we’re afraid of what will happen if we give it all up, if we truly taste what it’s like to live a life completely for God. Psalm 91:2 says: “I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’” None of us will ever be able to understand how much God loves every single one of us… Our minds just can’t comprehend it! No matter what has happened or what will happen, nothing surprises our Lord. He loves you and me in spite of everything. He knows our hearts through and through, knows how many hairs are on our heads, and even knows things about us that we don’t even know! He will never leave us. So what are we waiting for? Jump into God with all of your heart, all your mind, and all your strength, and just give it all to Him. As 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” I pray every day for God to show me the things I need to change in order to better follow Him. And when He does show them, I know it’s out of love.

Have you truly tasted what it’s like to completely, 100%, with every bit of who you are, live for God? This is a question that God has put on my heart as well. He wants me and you to follow him with every single little piece of our hearts, everyday, with all that we are, until He calls us to be with Him in Heaven.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I come to You right now to just thank You.
Dear God, I just thank You for everything in my life right now.
I feel so blessed looking back on my past and smiling on the fact that it is no more.
I love You so much for putting Your finger under my chin and lifting my eyes Your way and
Lord, I feel so much comfort knowing that I am Your daughter, Your Child,
And that You love me as a Father, more than anyone else ever could
No matter what I do!
And I praise You for being by my side through every step that I take.
Dear God I just feel so much worry right now for the future
So much is in the process of change right now, so much is happening
And I just pray for the world in which we live.
And if it’s in God’s will to bless me with children someday, I pray for the world in which they will live.
Though I know that You are with me through every second of every minute
I admit that I am still scared sometimes
But then I feel You wrap Your arms around me and I am peaceful at last.
Dear God, today I just pray that You will be with each and every one of us
Lord, let us be people who are living lives that are pleasing to You
Let us be people who are not just giving in or giving up
But be a people who stand up for You and Your standards.
God I just pray that we would be able to completely live for You
And that we wouldn’t fall prey to our friends or the media or the entire culture that we live in.
I just thank You God that no matter what happens in this world, today or tomorrow or ten years down the line,
That You are still on the throne! You are still God of all.
There is no greater comfort than that!
I just pray that we continue to grow in You, and that we continue to gain strength in You
Knowing that because You are with us, we are complete. God, You are all we need in this life.
I pray that we would be a people seeking You daily, fighting through life with You right by our side
Knowing that in the end, “at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.” (Philippians 2:9-11)
Dear God, I thank you for never leaving my side.
I have found myself in You.
I love You with all that I am.

In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.

I used to have this scrapbook where you insert all different pictures from different times in your life.
Birthdays, holidays, field trips, etc…
“All About Me” was the title
With a place for facts, pictures, and keepsakes in every page
But at the very end, there was a letter
A letter that I had written to myself
A time capsule, if you will, that I wasn’t supposed to open until I graduated from high school
It had a place to fill in everything
“Who Will You Be in _____ Years?”

So came the time to open the letter
I felt as though I was talking to a different person
It seemed as though what I wanted
Was what the world tells us is “good”
I thought I was just going to breeze through life
That’s what I thought as a 12-year-old.
My, how we change!

Fast-forward eight years, and my standards are different
Have there been happy times? Yes!! Rocky times, Oh yes.
But through all of these things
God has drawn me to Him.
Now all I want is to live my life
So to make him smile.
To take the things He’s given me
And lift them up to Him.

I want to follow Him, and to lead others to Him
To take my relationships and honor Him with them
To talk to Him in prayer, and crave the Word daily
I want to live my life to glorify God!
I hold myself to the standards than honor Him
Forget what I wanted before…
God holds my entire heart.

As far as the woman I now hope to be?
I pray to be someone that He is proud of
Someone who is able to stand up in all ways
For what I believe in — Jesus Christ.
The world will throw us curve balls
We’ll trip and fall face-first in the mud
But with Jesus, we need not be discouraged
For this I know is true: “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”
(Philippians 4:13)

Dear Heavenly Father,
I’m so confused right now.
I wish I could just wrap my arms around You and have You hold me for awhile.
I wish You could wipe the tears from my eyes.
I feel like everything I’m doing is wrong
Like I have the best of intentions and somewhere along the line they always get messed up.
I am trying so hard to be more like You, to be strong like You.
But most of the time I just feel weak.
Because I am.
The only thing that ever makes me feel better is to picture my hand in Yours.
I always feel better putting my trust in You.
I know that all things work together for good to those that love God…
But I wish so badly that I could see somewhere down the line
Somewhere when they actually start working out.
In the meantime, I know I need to trust You.
In the meantime, I just need to throw it all on You.
You know my heart, through and through.
I know that You will sometimes allow me to feel pain
But You will never let it defeat me.
And the only way I can get through any of this life
Is to keep my eyes on You.
I love You Lord.
I will never let go of Your hand.
I trust you with all that I am.

Amen.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4.

Albert Einstein was once quoted saying, “The more I study science, the more I believe in God.” In today’s schools, at least from my perspective, we are all growing up being taught the evolutionary way of life. I have attended public schools all my life, so I can’t really give my thoughts from another perspective, but this is what I’ve noticed all through my years in school.

I can remember coming home from a high school science class and being completely fuming about what I just learned. All we were taught was that humans were formed by evolution. We had to memorize charts and graphs in our books showing the way people and other animals had changed over millions of years. None of this even made the slightest bit of sense to me. It seemed to me that people were coming up with every reason NOT to believe that God created everything, and that it didn’t just create itself. I laughed at the idea that one day, life had just created itself and I couldn’t understand how people believed such a thing.

Years went by, and I found myself in my freshman year of college. I was a Literature major at the time, but planned on minoring in Psychology (which is now my major). Even in my classes now, the more I learn about how the brain works, how a nerve cell is formed, how we are able to perceive thousands of stimuli at one time and be completely unconscious of it, the more I KNOW we were created by God. Something so intricately designed wasn’t just evolved from some heterotroph millions of years ago. We were created by God himself, along with the rest of this entire world.

One day in particular really got to me. We were passing around (in a jar of course) a human brain. When the jar got to me, I began studying it. It didn’t look like anything too special. It was just gray with a bunch of squiggly lines. Nothing too interesting. But as I was looking at this brain, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. This hunk of gray stuff allowed us to think. This is where all of the outside world comes in so that we can experience it. The millions of purposes it serves!! And just a gray thing. How amazing is that? The way we were designed is absolutely amazing. And the more things I learn about people, animals, or geography, I continue to be amazed. There are so many more things to learn, and I know I’ll never even begin to know them all, but the more I do learn, the more I believe. Hebrews 1:10 reads, “You Lord, in the beginning laid the foundation of the Earth, and the Heavens are the works of Your hands.” This world was so intricately designed, so perfectly put together. God loves all of us more than we will ever know, and if anyone ever needed “proof” all they’d have to do is (really) open their eyes and just look around. Even look down and examine their own hands. How completely amazing that He loves us so much. I am and will be forever grateful.

Einstein is best known for his theory of relativity and mass-energy equivalence… You know, E equals MC squared. He is considered by many to be one of the smartest men in history… but I think his quote, “The more I study science, the more I believe in God,” was the smartest thing he ever said.

In my Psychology class, we are required to participate in research projects twice a semester. Just to get it out of the way, I signed up for the first one that I could. For each of these projects, you sit down in a big room and are given one hour to complete a survey about any topic that they give you. This morning, the topic was about happiness. There seemed to be twenty pages asking people to rate from 1-7 how happy they were. Questions ranged from inquiries on everyday life to how fulfilled one might feel in respect to their life up until this point.

When it seemed as though thousands of questions had passed, I began reading questions that asked, “Do you feel you’re living your life to the full potential?” or “Do you feel your life is serving a higher purpose?” When I came to these questions, my mind began racing (which is a lot to say for 9 in the morning… I’m not a morning person at all). The only thing I could think about was what Cliff talked about last night, about being either hot or cold, and not just lukewarm. I’m sure everyone in that room this morning interpreted those questions completely differently, but I related the quality of my life directly to my walk with Christ.

Was I living for Christ to my full potential? Yes, I believe that my life serves a higher purpose, but what would He say about how I’m serving? How would the way I rated myself differ from how He rates me at this very moment? I want nothing more than for my life to be pleasing to God!! I am so thankful everyday to be saved by His grace, that in spite of all of my mistakes He forgives and loves me (and you) more than I (or any of us) could ever possibly know.

So now I’m remembering how I’ve been spoken to about those times when everything seems to be going right, when we feel like we’re not just running through sand anymore. That we’re really flying. I remember being told that is when the danger comes, when we feel like we are all right by ourselves. I pray to God everyday that I never feel that way. It’s in the hard times that we tend to lean on the Lord, to throw all of our sorrows onto Him. This is what gets us through those times we aren’t sure we can get through. But what about when we’re not? This is when I get on my knees with humility and pray to God that He would humble me to know that without Him, I am nothing. I need Him always, through good times and bad!

I see my life as it is now, and I thank Him for everything! For all the lessons I’ve learned and the things I’ve been through, and for all of the blessings I’ve received through Him and only through Him. I know that my life is in His will, and I pray that I can live everyday to be pleasing to Him and only Him. And without Him, I really am nothing at all. I know after all that is not about ratings with God, but that He knows my heart and I walk with him everyday, through every situation and every moment. To me, there is no better comfort.

I remember the very moment that I became shy. Silly as it sounds, it was the last day of fifth grade, and as the whole class sat at their desks devouring their ice cream, I was in front of them presenting a project. At that age, I was notorious for boring my classmates with excruciatingly long reports. They were so boring that sometimes I would even totally zone out as I stood there reading. On this particular occasion, I stood there thinking about a boy in my class that I had a huge crush on. I suddenly realized that he was sitting in the audience (duh), watching and listening to everything I said. All at once my eyes began to water, my face turned red, and I became somewhat out of breath. My heart was racing as I became more aware of how I sounded, looked, and how much longer I still had to read. I have struggled with shyness ever since.

Before that time in my life, I was always the girl to tell you exactly what I was thinking. I was really outgoing and sometimes maybe even loud, and one of my favorite things to do was be in plays. I would sing solos and all kinds of stuff, but I can think of so many things now that I would rather do instead! As I got older, I remained significantly quieter, especially when meeting new people, although I love doing it. If I knew someone really well, I’d talk their head right off, but when it came to meeting others, that wasn’t exactly the case. And every time I had to get up in front of the class I would pretty much faint. No joke.

So after awhile I guess I just started accepting myself as this relatively quiet person. I never really saw it holding me back from anything. I mean it’s important to accept yourself, right? So there I was in Lighthouse on a random Sunday night, listening to Cliff speak. He was talking about things that could be holding us back from a deeper relationship with God, whether good or bad. After singing our closing songs, he stood and asked us to form a triangle with two other people around us, hold hands, and pray about what in our lives was holding us back. The first thing that came to mind was my shyness. And believe it or not I was afraid to pray out loud! I was afraid that my mind was going to go blank just like it did every other time I spoke in front of others. But as my turn came, I threw everything on the Lord and just began speaking. And I didn’t even think about what I had to say next. It’s like my heart was pouring out to Him, talking about struggles that were from deep inside. I wasn’t nervous or scared or anything. I was just me, and I hadn’t experienced a feeling like that in forever.

After those few moments, I felt like something changed. I felt like God was saying, “See, you can do it Christy” and He was cheering me on. He made me realize that I need to push my own limits all the time to become closer to Him, and to also bring others closer. How was I ever supposed to be able to lead others to Christ if I was resting on my shyness like a crutch? I left feeling like a new person, so excited and ready to start over. I love when that happens! Everybody has a limit in their lives, and it’s important to break through it and live for Christ without any boundaries. Just as in Philippians 4:13- “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.” With God, there is nothing that we can’t overcome.

The night time is usually the only time lately that I get a chance to read my Bible. I have been reading and studying the book of John lately. So last night as I was opening my Bible to the chapter of John, I came across a passage from Psalm 55: 22-23 and it read, “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall… As for me, I trust in you.” It spoke to me at that very moment, and soothed my heart and mind as I read it over again.

In this crazy world, it’s so hard to actually find the time to sit down and really dwell on God’s word. We are all so busy with our lives, whether it’s school, relationships, work, or anything else. We are constantly on the move, and I find that the busier I get and the less time I have to sit down and just spend one-on-one time with God, the crazier my life seems to become. In time with Him, I am able to unwind and just be myself, to talk to Him, to spend time in prayer. To spend time in the Word is perhaps one of the things that helps calm my heart the most. Every time I sit down to read, I first bow my head and pray that God would help illustrate to me His Word, to unfold what it is that he wants my heart to learn and share with others. And sure enough, I always end up reading something that is completely relevant to whatever is on my heart (or someone else’s) at that time. The Bible is the greatest tool for learning and also dealing with every situation that we may come to. It is all we ever need to know for this life on Earth… I like to think of it as a “Guide to Life for Dummies” type of thing.

Also, I’ve always been one of those people who likes quotes. You know, the kind that as pre-teens we used to put on our AOL or MSN profiles (and now maybe even Facebook?) that are somehow supposed to explain to the world what it is we’re going through without exactly saying it. Like the “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened” type of thing. The thing about those quotes were (at least to me) that they made me feel better, like I wasn’t the only one who was going through a tough situation. Maybe they gave a sense of empowerment, who knows? I was looking at the WRONG quotes, though!!! You want to read real words from God himself of comfort and joy, of hope and encouragement? Open your Bible, my friend!!

From reading the Bible, I find the strength and courage to get through my every day, and to help others along the way. I look at my life, and have the desire to model it after the Lord, in all aspects of it. My family, relationships, job, school, etc… are all possible categories to be modeled after how Jesus lived His life, and I am working on that every day. I find that when I don’t spend time in the Word, when I don’t get my daily time with the Lord, things seem to just unravel. But when He is first, before all things, everything just seems to fall into place. One thing that always touches me is the fact that He already knows what is on my heart. It’s not like I have to tell Him or else he won’t… He knows my heart through and through. What a comfort! A verse from John that stands out to me comes from chapter 10, verse 10: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” Amen! Through following God, I find that is the only way I am able to live my life to the full… The only way to live, really.

My freshman year of high school was full of new experiences. Walking into school on that very first day, I can still remember how excited and nervous I was. Remember how grown-up you felt on the first day of high school? I just knew that it was the beginning of something new. I was feeling cool, confident, calm and ready to take on the school year. Whatever it brought, I was ready. Or so I thought.

That year, I started dating a boy who had been my best friend forever, and who also happened to be the current crush of a girl in my grade. One day after gym class, I hurried into the locker room to grab my backpack and run to my next class. Opening the locker, I noticed that my stuff was all over the place. As I studied it closer, I realized that all of my clothes and belongings had been destroyed. My clothes were torn into shreds, and as I picked them up, tears sprang to my eyes. The room began to spin, and I heard whispers behind me. I couldn’t even breathe. Little did I know, I was not alone.

Incidents like mine are common occurrences in high schools around the country. High schoolers, particularly girls, are becoming more and more hostile towards each other. People are being ridiculed and teased because of what they look like, who they hang out with, and sometimes simply just because of who they are. Others may not agree with what they believe, how they act, or what makes them tick, and suddenly they become the target of their classmates… whether it is a group of people or more than just a few.

I will never understand how people feel that in order to make themselves feel better, they need to inflict pain on another human being. It seems that life in high school is becoming more and more treacherous. Kids are getting mentally and sometimes physically abused because they might have a crush on the same person or even for things such as clothing choices. Today, it seems to be all about appearances and what you look like to others- what you’re wearing, who you’re dating, blah, blah, blah. That incident in the locker room was not the last hurtful thing to sting my heart. I struggled for a long time with self-confidence issues after that. I couldn’t figure out what it was that I was doing wrong. I’d come home sobbing from school every day, wondering, “What is wrong with me? What did I do?”

Finally I realized that the only thing I needed to worry about was God and what He saw happening in my life. I also began praying for those that were involved in those situations. To me, we are all searching to figure out who we are. We are all looking for affirmation- someone that is proud of us for what we’re doing, someone who sees us as precious and irreplaceable. We all have the need to feel loved, and I began focusing on only how God sees me. I began finding fulfillment in pleasing Him and knowing that I was created just the way He wanted me to be. He created me, after all. And all those people who hurt me—I realized that He created them too. So I prayed for them and for all the people who are in those shoes… who feel somehow inadequate or not good enough, who are poked at and teased. God loves them just the way they are and knew about them before they ever even existed, and loved them then! He loves you more than any one of of us can comprehend, and once you realize that simple fact, nothing can ever bring you down.