So once again, I believe it to be very important to share an occurrence with you. God has blessed me with the word to say this, and I hope some of you will relate.

Recently, the Rebels have been reading Humility by author C. J. Mahaney. Now even I admit that I was not too thrilled on the subject matter. After reading other books to escape, I was skeptical. But then I began to see things differently. God started revealing Himself to me.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I love it when I can feel God talking to me. I am in love with the feeling that this book has stirred up inside of me. I want to encourage and love everyone.So yeah, I was feeling pretty good. I was now trying to see things from God’s eyes. He loves everyone and so should we. It is sin that hardens our hearts and by humbling ourselves, we can reverse the effect.

So let me tell you that I now see the world from a completely different pair of eyeballs. I truly feel compelled to apologize for the way I have treated some people and can now admit that I don’t know everything. All I do know is this: “God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble.”

Father, please forgive me for ever boasting in anything but You. Allow these relationships healing. Thank You.

GENRE: DRAMA
RATING: R
STUDIO: WARNER BROS.
THEATRICAL RELEASE: DECEMBER 12, 2008
DVD RELEASE: MAY 2008

Nutshell Version:

Clint Eastwood has delivered up another masterpiece in the form of Gran Torino. This is an extremely rich film. It is like biting into a piece of lemon meringue pie and lingering. The film raises a number of difficult questions and does not provide easy answers or solutions. There are questions of faith and justice, good and evil, forgiveness and redemption. Again, Eastwood has a knack for pulling out these varied themes and working them together into a cohesive whole.

Full Version:

Synopsis:

Disgruntled Korean War vet Walt Kowalski sets out to reform his neighbor, a young Hmong teenager, who tried to steal Kowalski’s prized possession: his 1972 Gran Torino.
–courtesy of imdb.com

Can Clint Eastwood make a bad movie? I’m sure, in his illustrious career, he must have made a lemon somewhere. However, I am young enough to have never seen one of them. Unforgiven. Million Dollar Baby. Flags Of Our Fathers and Letters From Iwo Jima. Now this former Dirty Harry has delivered up another masterpiece in the form of Gran Torino.

This is an extremely rich film. It is like biting into a piece of lemon meringue pie and lingering. Eastwood is gifted at crafting an experience that is hard to pin down. There is so much going on in the story, but you never feel overwhelmed by it. Everything here is necessary and organic. Where does one begin?

Gran Torino raises a number of difficult questions and does not provide easy answers or solutions. In fact, the ultimate answer Walt Kowalski arrives at will leave viewers pondering what it means to be a hero. More importantly, it will make many wonder it means to be a man. But, those are not the only questions to be found here. There are questions of faith and justice, good and evil, forgiveness and redemption. Again, Eastwood has a knack for pulling out these varied themes and working them together into a cohesive whole.

While I shouldn’t be surprised by a Clint Eastwood-directed picture’s acting being stellar, I couldn’t help but being doubly impressed. While Eastwood is featured in a majority of the film, the rest of the film’s cast are relative unknowns of Hmong descent. That is a marked difference when compared to a film like Million Dollar Baby, which had A-list actors like Hilary Swank and Morgan Freeman to round out the cast. The same could be said about Unforgiven and his WWII pictures. The acting in this movie may be attributed to Eastwood’s presence in front of and behind the camera, but that cannot be all. There is also raw talent to be considered and Eastwood knows how to detect that and play to those actor’s strengths in order to get the best performance possible. Eastwood’s turn as crotchety and haunted Walt Kowalski is eminently believable. But, newcomers Bee Vang and Ahney Her gave equally impressive performances as Thao Vang Lor and Sue Lor, respectively.

A personal added bonus is that this movie was filmed on location in Detroit, Michigan. There were several locales that were recognizable to me, including a hardware store on Kercheval Avenue that I used to personally frequent for odds and ends. While this may not matter to moviegoers in other parts of the nation and world, it certainly added to the authenticity—unlike films that purport to be in one place but are actually filmed in another location.

Gran Torino is one of the best films of 2008 and is certainly Oscar-worthy. There hasn’t been a lot of promotion this year (as far as I can tell) on that end of things for this winter’s dramas, but when that train gets moving, you can bet this one gets my vote for a statue or two. There is quite a bit of racist language in the film, but, believe me when I tell you, it is entirely necessary to the story.

I was talking to one of the most warm-spirited individuals I’ve ever had the honor of sharing a conversation with the other day and she said something that I could totally identify with…

“I’m totally ready for 2008 to be done with. I feel as though I need a new year.”

I’ve been thinking lately about what I’ve learned in 2008. Mainly because everything I’ve learned in 2008 seems to have come to me in the last few weeks.

Maybe because I’ve had time to slow down and life’s lessons have had time to catch up and sink in. Sometimes life happens so fast and thoughts and actions blur through and become mixed with lessons and emotions and eye opening revelations and sometimes if we don’t stop and take a deep look at those blurs, we miss what’s really going on underneath the surface.

So here is my blur of 2008 and my attempt to share what I’ve learned.

Life is a bittersweet balance of both the beautiful and the tragic, the sane and the insane, the infuriating and the enlightening and so much more.

Sometimes people are going to let you down and hurt you. Sometimes people are going to do things that you won’t understand. That there will be plenty of times in which you will be left with this feeling of hurt, betrayal, and bitterness with head shaking and arms lifted wondering what just happened and why did it happen.

And that sometimes you are going to let people down and hurt them even though it’s not your intention. Sometimes you are prone to get into a funk, to get frustrated, to shut down and instead of opening up and sharing with those you love and care for, you end up taking it out on them, even when you don’t realize your doing it.

I’ve learned that when you do hurt people and when you do make mistakes the only thing you can do is admit your wrong, apologize, hope for forgiveness, and continue to work on mending things.

I’ve learned that mending things are worthwhile. That the friendships and relationships we have are worth wrestling through tension, that they are worth fighting for, they are worth laying down pride for, they are worth bearing forth in patience, humility, kindness, understanding, and love. That I would much rather be honest and confront the ugly tension then ignore it because through that tension relationships became deeper and more genuine.

They are worth all these things and so much more because those we can share life with, love with, laughter with, those moments, those people, they are truly a special blessing. And in your moments of need whether great or small, whether its sitting through days in a hospital waiting room or airing out frustrations of life, they are there for you.

I’ve learned that life is too short for petty differences, gossip, pettiness in general, pride, selfishness, laziness, pessimism and that I would much rather spend my days in laughter, love, encouragement then in gossip, drama, and bringing others down.

I’ve learned that taking the time to get to know someone is worth the effort instead of just assuming things about their personality and character on a surface level. And that when we take the time to truly get to know someone’s heart, the things they love, the things that make them come alive, the things they struggle with, when we share those things, we realize that the reward of friendship is well worth the work.

I’ve learned time well spent is time spent loving others. And having a conversation with someone just to let them know that you truly do love and care about them is more important than anything else you have to do on your “busy agenda.”

I’ve learned that my “busy schedule” needs to start taking a backseat when it comes to spending time with those I love instead of them being put on the backseat.

I’ve learned and need to continue to learn to manage my time.

I’ve learned that I love the students I get to work with and I don’t think I could ever tell them that enough and that I need to continue to remind them of how much I love and care about them.

I’ve learned that my niece is a picture of pure joy and that I need to learn from her that in the way that she trusts in others to provide for her, I need to trust in God to provide for me.

I’ve learned that worries should be replaced with “no worries!” and that not taking Christ at His words of “…seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” is a severe lack of faith.

I’ve learned that a mustard seed is a lot bigger then it seems and that more times then not I’m better at building mountains then having faith to the move them.

I’ve learned that grief has a funny way of catching up to you. That the hurt and sadness and brokenness from the loss of my father will never truly go away.

And that I never want it to go away because that foundation of brokenness has allowed me to come to the realization that life is a gift, a beautiful gift made even sweeter by the presence of a powerful God and the living Christ and the comforting Spirit.

I’ve learned that I may not always have the honor of sharing in these moments with such fine people and that these moments need be cherished and that’s why the pettiness and gossip and drama is meaningless and why the tension is worth wrestling through.

I’ve learned that my family is a blessing from God and that I love them. More and more each day I wish I could take away their pain.

I’ve learned that I can’t take away their pain but I can hug them and hang with them and love them and kiss them and laugh with them. And truly there’s not much more I would rather do but spend time with them.

I’ve learned that someone cannot be hugged enough.

I’ve learned that telling someone “I love you” is better off being said too much then not being said nearly enough or not at all.

I’ve learned and continue to learn that God is beautiful, holy, great and mighty.

I’ve learned that God has a lot of things to show and teach me and I need to continue to learn to just be still and listen.

I’ve learned and continue to learn that God is good and His grace is sufficient for me.

I’ve learned and continue to learn that God has blessed me, not because I have ever done anything to deserve so but because Love is who He is.

In closing, I want to say that I love you all and that I’m grateful to be able to share these moments, these lessons, and this life with you. Know that I lift you up in prayer whether by name or by the fact that I can call you a brother and sister in Christ or a brother and sister in life. And please know my desire is to share in life and love and laughter with all of you and know that my heart yearns to spend more time with you all and it grows heavy when I am not able to do so but know that does not mean that you are any less cared about and know that I will continue to work on managing my schedule and keeping my weariness in check so that you will continue to know and be shown the love I have for you, the love that comes from Christ.

“I guess I could be pretty ticked off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my little life… You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry… you will someday.”

Thank you for making this life beautiful; I thank God for all of you.

In a desolate place I came upon a familiar room with long walls that was vacant of anything tangible
Words were splattered in black on the walls as if painted with haste and an unsettling venting desire
In the distance the voice of reason cried out while white noise masked every contemplation
The thickness of fog in the air cleared a path to the door waiting to be shut, and nothing more
One hand lay across my breast feeling the thunderous pounding of my heart as I locked the door
I tilted my head back to open my mouth like a cave and slip in the key to rest with the slumbering dragon
Impassivity is detaching me from myself and I need God’s key in order to cease annihilation

You really wouldn’t believe how much trouble I had figuring out what annoys me most in life. I actually started a list of things that I find annoying.
And finally, I have found the single most irritating thing in life. It’s currently at the top of my list, and I think that’s where it will stay.
Nothing annoys me more than driving in Rochester.
Seriously.
Today was one of the days I left myself 20 minutes to reach a destination that usually only takes me 15 minutes to get to from school.
I spent the first 10 minutes just trying to reach the light at Avon and Rochester Road. For some reason, every time the light turned green… nothing happened. Literally.
Eventually, after several green lights (during which two or three cars snuck through the intersection) I made it up towards the front of the line. When I could get past my annoyance at the fact that we weren’t moving, I was actually curious to see what fascinating scene could be holding up the progress.
Guess what was there. Did you guess?
Right. Nothing.
It had always been my understanding that when the light turned green, we were all supposed to drive forward. After today, I’m not so sure.
Maybe we’re supposed to just enjoy watching the colors change from green to yellow to red.
Maybe we’re supposed to sit in a neat line and twiddle our thumbs.
Maybe that intersection is just so awe-inspiring that people simply forget how to drive their cars.
I don’t know. If you figure it out, let me know.

Life is made up of Sometimes. Through everything we endure in life, we always go through the Sometimes which are an undeniable force to which we live by. Sometimes we feel like we cannot continue in life. Sometimes an event happens and we overjoyed with happiness. Sometimes parents have children while others continue to wait upon the day they too can share the experience and love. Sometimes we cross paths with someone we haven’t seen in a long time. Sometimes we lose touch of those we always thought we’d be friends with. Sometimes we fall in love. Sometimes we are heartbroken. Sometimes we just want to cry while Sometimes we laugh so hard that the milk we just drank spits out our noses. Sometimes life isn’t fair even when you always did well in your life. Sometimes when we least expect it, something good happens. Sometimes we experience a random act of kindness. Sometimes we say something to someone and regret it. Sometimes we compliment someone, and it can lift them up. Sometimes we just don’t want to wake up in the morning. Sometimes we cannot sleep at night because we cannot wait for the next day to come. Sometimes we experience a great time and the next thing we go through is a hurtful thing. Sometimes we lose our appetites and cannot eat for days. Sometimes we eat too much when we knew we should have stopped earlier. Sometimes we sit beside a stranger. Sometimes a stranger will change you by their lifestyle. Sometimes we search for something more in life. Sometimes what we need in life is right there in front of you. Sometimes we are blinded by the sin of this world. Sometimes the sin of this world gets the best of us. Sometimes we are so strong in faith we can overcome sin. Sometimes we just want to run away and start over. Sometimes we move so much we just want to settle down. Sometimes we grow up and wish we were young again. Sometimes we are young and wish we were older. Sometimes an older person can share wisdom to others. Sometimes an older person needs wisdom. Sometimes we wonder what we are doing. Sometimes we know too much. Sometimes we have friends to turn to. Sometimes we feel like we are in the dark with no one to turn too. Sometimes we sing. Sometimes we are quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Sometimes we worship. Sometimes we curse. Sometimes we apologize and ask for forgiveness. Sometimes we are too ashamed to talk to the person we hurt or lied to. Sometimes we have courage, while Sometimes we cannot overcome fear. Sometimes we doubt ourselves. Sometimes we go through school and learn things to help our future. Sometimes we get married, while Sometimes we lose the person we love. Sometimes life moves on. Sometimes we live in the past.

Sometimes I sit here and wonder what is next. Sometimes I think to myself, if I give everything, what is left of me? Sometimes I am hurt, while sometimes that hurt makes me stronger.

One thing I know is that in life we go through Sometimes. Everything I search for is a Sometimes yet Always my Father, My Savior, My friend and Redeemer loves me. That is a Promise and He doesn’t ever break promises!

driving in the dark. the check your heart light illuminates my dash in red.

restless hands, and this empty road. were all just chasing safety, in our own time, to each man his own..

making the choice to be out of touch, touching the choice’s of life. so delicately as to not shake the very fragile existence of a man inside…

plotting my route, to meet my maker tonight, sometime’s the best way…is to lay down your sword and walk away from the fight. die to self, and let the enemy feel no victory.

wipe away all those phrases of content laced with hollow words.
while the world is busy making its precious vow’s, i’m off to find closure’s grave.

lie to me, look me in the eye; tell me it’s all ok!

rejoice in the tears, your head is in your hands…

all hail the temporary liberty of the “free”

HahAha

when the world caves in, where will they be?

You woke me from my sleep
My physical sleep and the sleep that sailed me away from you

There are illusions blocking my view from every corner
I allow them to animate my eyes into enchantment
My will chooses these palpable and available things
It’s no wonder the void expands when I am stuck here

I’ve been in deep sleep, God
What was I without you but blind in soul
Awaken me with your delectable love
I lack the taste of a fruitful life

“My fruit is better than fine gold;
what I yield surpasses choice silver”
(Proverbs 8:19)

MercyMe has a Christmas album with a song called Joseph’s lullaby…

It’s a song from the perspective of Joseph, Jesus’ father…
The lyrics are…

“Go to sleep my Son
This manger for your bed
You have a long road before You
Rest Your little head

Can You feel the weight of Your glory?
Do You understand the price?
Does the Father guard Your heart for now
So You can sleep tonight?

Go to sleep my Son
Go and chase Your dreams
This world can wait for one more moment
Go and sleep in peace

I believe the glory of Heaven
Is lying in my arms tonight
Lord, I ask that He for just this moment
Simply be my child”

There is a short instrumental portion that plays out and then the last verse sings,

“Go to sleep my Son
Baby, close Your eyes
Soon enough You’ll save the day
But for now, dear Child of mine
Oh my Jesus, Sleep tight”

A few years ago I wanted to write a Musical about Christmas… I never finished it… but I always pictured using this song to conclude the performance….

Picture this…

The whole story has just been told. Jesus has been born, everyone’s come to visit, the joyous music has been played, the curtain has closed… everyone is ready to leave… but the lights don’t go up.

Everyone is clapping and ready to begin a standing ovation…but they know that something isn’t right because the lights still aren’t going up…

The clapping starts to die and you can hear the curtain open again and all are quiet as they try to figure out what’s going on…

As the lights go up on the stage, you see Mary and Joseph sleeping on opposite sides of the stage and the manger in the center. The lights are low showing you that it’s night… and Jesus starts to whimper…

Mary: [a loud whisper] Joseph?
and before she can finish even saying his name… Joseph is jumping at the chance to have a minute alone with the Savior of the world…
Joseph: I’ve got Him, Mary…

Joseph gets up and picks up the baby Jesus and walks Him outside and starts to sing Him this lullaby…

“Go to sleep my Son…”

And during the instrumental… Joseph realizes Jesus is asleep and so he puts Jesus back in the manger and falls back asleep.

After the instrumental, though, there is still one verse… who’s going to sing?

At this point… I would have a man sing the last verse as the voice of God.

Can you imagine God… looking on the birth of His Son… and seeing His Son crying in the night… wants to sing Him a lullaby just like every other father… and God sings…

“Go to sleep My Son…
And Baby, close Your eyes,
Soon enough You’ll save the day,
But for now dear Child of mine…
Oh, My Jesus… Sleep Tight”

So as we near Christmas day… don’t get so sick of Christmas that you get sick of Jesus… Jump at the chance to spend a minute alone with Him… and remember… He is the Son of God… given to you.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
John 3:16

“Yet in thy dark streets shineth the everlasting light,
the hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight…”

There’s not too much more time before we celebrate the day of His coming to earth…

Phillipians 2
” 1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!”

Mark 10:45
“…For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”"

He humbled Himself…

I mean seriously if anybody is somebody it’s Jesus right?

I mean He’s God! He deserves ALL glory… ALL honor… and ALL praise… and yet ALL He wanted to do… was serve.

It brings me to tears to think how much I am not a servant. I am not humble.

I am so proud.

I think I am something when I am nothing and yet Jesus considered Himself nothing when He was truly something.

I loved how Cliff reminded us last year that the angels came and told the shepherds that the Messiah was born. The shepherds… the smelly, nasty, morally depraved, unwanted, disliked shepherds heard the news before anyone else. And it was those people that shared it with everyone else.

I’m a shepherd… and you know what… just like the people didn’t rush to see Jesus because it was Shepherds telling them the news… there might be people that don’t want to hear from me that the Messiah has come… but we are to preach the gospel in season and out of season… (2 Timothy 4:2)… and Tis the season….

The light of the world… that lights our dark streets… lives within you and me… let your light shine before men so that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven (Matthew 5:16)….