1:12am.

That’s what the clock on my dashboard read a mere eleven minutes ago.
The night was clear, the ride easy. The roads were barren, save for a few of us renegades who dared to tempt the police with easy prey for unfilled quotas. As I stared at the yellow lines, their staccato rhythm hypnotizing, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to swerve across the lanes of traffic into the oncoming lane.
Relax, I was not contemplating suicide. That side of the road was empty.
I almost laughed to myself at the arrival of the unwelcome urge. There was no one to discuss this sudden weirdness with. So I contemplated what would give rise to it. It hit me a moment later.

I’d never driven on that side of the road before.
Is that a good enough reason?
There are reasons I have not: the aforementioned police, the promise of safety should I remain in my own lane. The eerie vine of nervousness crept into my gut, spurring a jolt of adrenaline into my heart to make me uneasy. The thought goaded me—accused me. You don’t have the guts.

I didn’t.
It’s probably a good thing, looking back. It’s strange to think, however, that there are things I refuse to do simply because I’ve never seen them done, or done them myself. I could fill a book with the things I’ve seen. I could fill volumes with things I haven’t. I’ve never seen cattle take flight. I’ve never seen a sunset in Jerusalem.

Because I’ve never seen it—does that make it not happen? Is it impossible? I have seen men live; they breathe, they eat. But I’ve never seen one die.

And they do.
I’ve seen the effects of death. I’ve felt the effects of its icy grip on a loved one.

I’ve never seen a man crucified. I’ve never seen a man raised from the dead.

To think…
Could a man return from death? Conquer it?
Could a man be perfect—sinless?
Could a perfect God wrap Himself in flesh?
Could a wretched man be made clean? For nothing?

No price?
No demand?

My economics professor told me there is no such thing as a free lunch. Nothing free at all, to broaden it. Someone has to pay for it.

He’s right.

I’ve been told that man’s heart is desperately wicked. The evidence is buried in my chest. Some things need not be seen. Some things require trust, and faith.

Someone paid my debt. I didn’t even see it happen. But I heard about it.
And oh, I’ve felt its effects.