Alright, this is the last time that I’ll ever mention this…just a beef I have with our restaurant culture that came upon us seemingly out of nowhere (like that Dane Cook guy). Since when am I supposed to expect a lemon in my water? Seriously! I can’t stand it! I ask for water and it’s automatically garnished! When did this happen? Was there some sort of meeting of the collective restaurant minds that spawned this sudden dogmatic principle that states water can no longer be just water? I can understand the general idea behind this phenomenon, but all of the sudden it applies to everyone without even a question as if we’re all wired the same way. What if every time you got an oil change, the mechanic painted a racing stripe on your car because he thought it looked cool? Or if you got a haircut and the stylist dyed your blonde roots brown because ‘the majority of her customers like it that way.’

This wouldn’t get accepted nearly as easily in any other part of society, but somehow this little trend slipped through the cracks. Maybe I’m the only one who is perturbed by it, but when I’m out at a restaurant I have to order ‘plain water’. PLAIN WATER! What’s more plain than water? But if I fail to specify, I end up getting some poor man’s Gatorade. This wasn’t the case five years ago, but nowadays it’s standard. Sure, a lemon in water may have health benefits…so does running but you don’t see everyone doing it. It may be tasty to some…but we all have different taste buds. Water is just fine as is. It doesn’t need a spritz of anything. And who decided lemon was the way to go? Why not an orange slice or grapefruit? Or how about a tomato? I hear they’re healthy.

I would just appreciate it if my servers would ask for my preference. Like so many other things in life, options should be given upon request and not assumed. I had to get this off my chest and I’ll try, real hard, not to bring this up anymore but it’s tough when it occurs every time I dine out. Now, can I get a Diet Vanilla Black Cherry Coca Cola Classic with Lime please?