In honor of the most romantic month of the year, I want to discuss the dream day of every little girl who has ever lived - her wedding day. One day. 24 hours. Same amount of physical time, but each minute carries with it a weight of expectations that cannot possibly be fulfilled this side of the silver screen. For a girl, the wedding day has the same dreams attached to it as a young boy would in pitching Game 7 of the World Series. Everything must be perfect, from the hall for the reception, to the color of the pastor’s suit.

With so much pressure and weight given to the wedding day in our culture, we sometimes end up with dream weddings and nightmare marriages. Doesn’t it break your heart to be living in a country where nearly 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce? What can the church do to try to better the odds? At Woodside, we want to make your wedding day unforgettable, and you’re marriage unbreakable. Let me tell you how we plan to do this at Woodside…
“Yes! YESSSSSS!! I’ll marry you Johnny!” After several emotional kisses and strong embraces, Susie calls her mom. And her sister. And her friends. Then she logs on to Facebook and changes her relationship status to “Engaged”. He sits stunned and suddenly scared to death.

Before I go further, let me tell you my story… Angela was one of my best friends, someone I absolutely loved to be around. When I finally realized that she might be the one for me, I sputtered out a calculated line (“I’d like to pursue you romantically” was the wording) and after she recovered from my Shakespearean bombshell, she warmed to the idea. Since we had been in a healthy platonic relationship for a long time before the dating began, I already knew many things about her dreams for engagement and marriage. One important detail was that she wanted to be surprised for her engagement (of course), but she wanted her family to all be there as part of the surprise and witnesses to the moment. This made things a little bit tricky for me. Christmas was an obvious choice, but too obvious for my taste. There was one other time that she wouldn’t be expecting: homecoming at our alma mater. So the stage was set, the family in town for the big weekend of soccer games and bad buffets.

One little problem crept up 2 days before the big event was to go down – I was admitted to the hospital with the most extreme case of Mononucleosis that anyone had ever seen. It was so bad that my room became a required stop for medical school students to study my condition. This entire engagement plan that I had hatched had one big requirement – me! The doctors wanted to keep me for a week to be safe, or at least until my skin faded from the color of a yellowed bruise to at least my normal autumn pale pallor. I plead my case with every nurse that tended to my needs. I used guilt. I begged. I reasoned. I used every ounce of salesmanship that I could muster from my exhausted and depleted frame to convince them of the worthiness of my cause. With the help of some crafty nurses that couldn’t resist a good happy ending, the doctor very reluctantly discharged me just hours before the event was to happen. Now 25 pounds lighter after 3 days in the hospital, I sought to force myself to imagine eating something besides apple juice at dinner that night. After a cutesy trip up the stairs reading poetry that I composed and collecting roses, Angela walked into the living room to see her whole family there and her emaciated boyfriend attempting to get down on one knee without crumbling. She said yes! No kisses for me – lest you have forgotten my condition.

And so began our 8 month engagement… Tuxes and dresses were found – cake, invitations, reservations, down payments, travel arrangements, diets, were all waves crashing on us from this ocean of details. We had a few counseling sessions with the pastor that was to marry us, and unfortunately for us, the only thing I remember about it was a very impassioned talk on the difference between a traditional IRA and a Roth IRA.

The wedding day was memorable and beautiful, but I was soon to find out that marriage is a lot different than dating. My own selfishness and thoughtlessness which had gone before undetected was now deafening and embarrassing. How I wish we would have spent as much time preparing for our marriage as we had for our wedding! It has been nearly 8 years since our wedding day, and In spite of my own inadequacies and failings, God has blessed us with an amazing marriage. We definitely have our ups and downs, our trophies and tourniquets, but the joy that being together brings us is overwhelming.
At Woodside, we want to see our people get married, not just have a wedding.

This is the heart of what drives our Mentoring Program. We have a group of Godly couples that desire to invest many hours into our engaged couples, working through a book, sharing meals, and creating a safe space to share hopes, dreams, and fears. We want to have our couples as prepared for marriage as possible, working through important issues and unifying the couple relationally, emotionally, and spiritually.

After the engagement happens, call your mom then call us! We will immediately check for availability on one of our three campuses and reserve the date for you. Not only are there different worship center choices, but there is also a new outdoor wedding option in a brand new gazebo at the Troy Campus which will be ready by this summer. There is no rental charge to use our buildings, Woodside is YOUR CHURCH! Our only fees are kept as low as possible for our sound and lighting professionals so that everyone can afford to have a magical wedding at Woodside. Our information packet will be sent to you that will answer all your questions about the process. A meeting with one of our pastors is then set up before you are paired with one of our mentoring couples. During this engagement time, you are encouraged to join our Young Married/Engaged Group, called Fusion, which has a Sunday morning AFG, small groups, and a social calendar.

We are committed to seeing our people enter into marriages that are as beautiful and breathtaking as the wedding itself. So if 2008 is the year that you tie the knot, please consider getting married at Woodside. It would be our honor and great delight.

Ahhhhh… New Year’s Resolutions. What a great time of year. The definition of the word Resolution that we use around this time of year is “a firm decision to do something”. I love that definition. “I’m gonna do something this year!” As opposed to the last few years in which I apparently firmly decided to do nothing. It usually involves losing weight, working out, getting that pesky degree finished, finishing that remodeling project that was started awhile back. You know, the kind of resolutions that you have already tried and failed by the second week of January.

But there is another definition of Resolution that I really like – and maybe we can think about it this way in 2008. It is also used as a musical term, to describe the movement of a note or chord from dissonant to consonant. In other words, the resolution is the moment of the music where pleasing harmony is restored. The unpleasant dissonant notes that provide tension and complexity to the song and allow for the climactic payoff that the pleasing consonant notes bring. The resolution is that moment where all that seemed chaotic and maybe even out of control is brought to a beautifully stirring and harmonic peace.

If I were to analyze my life within this framework, I would have to conclude that at the end of 2007, there are some relationships, decisions, tensions, concerns, oversights, hesitations, and so much more that are in a state of chaotic dissonance. I have allowed once treasured friendships to languish in a state of disrepair. I have pain and regrets in my family that I ignore. I have allowed laziness to dominate my physical choices. I have put my own desires before others on far too many occasions.

To take this further – everywhere I look I see things in need of beautiful resolution. I see poverty just a few miles away. I see homelessness. I see sickness and pain. I see brokenness. I see hopelessness.

In ancient Jewish thought, the Kingdom of Heaven was thought to be bringing peace (shalom) from chaos. In their minds, the ultimate expression of chaos was the seas - the forceful rapids of the Jordan River, the unpredictable storms that would rise on the Sea of Galilee. The creation account itself speaks of God forming the beautiful land and skies from the waters (chaos). Think of how Jesus brought peace from chaos. The healings, the miracles, his teachings… His reading in the synagogue, from Isaiah 61“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, and he began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”(Luke 4:18-21) Peace from chaos.

This is the kind of Resolution that God wants me to make this year. Instead of breaking promises to myself about eating better and running more, maybe I can ask bigger questions this year. How can I bring these deafening dissonant notes that are being played all around us to any sort of harmony? How can I be used by God to bring this sort of peace to the chaos of this world? I feel that God is asking me to give all I have to see harmony brought to the chaos of this area. And as I attempt to do this, He will bring the peace to my own heart that seems so elusive. As I put others needs before my own – my own needs are met through the grace of God in my life. As I seek to end poverty and homelessness in my state through love and service, my own poverty of heart is healed. As I seek to heal other’s hearts, my own pain is healed by the grace that God showers down. As I seek to forgive those that aren’t sorry, the depth of my own salvation and forgiveness are made more precious.
God, please use me to help bring peace to this chaos, healing to the broken, and a beautiful harmony to this dissonant land - until the day when the most gorgeous heavenly symphony resounds to the ends of the universe.

May our lives be the Resolution in 2008.

Do you ever wonder why your car runs out of gas at the most inopportune time? Or why it costs more to dry a load of laundry than is does to do the wash? I guess it boils down to the whole “why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways” nonsense. I could banter back and forth with someone for hours asking “why” questions, but where would that lead us?

However, “why” is a word I have found myself using a lot lately. “Why am I at my current job?” “Why did that have to happen to my family?” “Why didn’t that happen? The cards seems to line up perfectly.” And yet I realized that the underlying question to all of my questions was, “Why God?”. You see, I found myself questioning God.

Have you ever babysat for a little kid who loves to talk and ask questions? As a pediatric physical therapist, I have the opportunity to experience some pretty interesting conversations with kids of all ages. There are times I am constantly laughing, while other times I am frustrated or heartbroken. And then there are those amusing times when a child suddenly thinks he/she is in charge. They come marching back to the gym and start rattling off a list of activities or exercises that they are going to do that day. It is then that I proceed to tell them that I have a different plan and that they will have to wait and see what it is. The “why” questions then begin to fly out of their mouths. And I stand there with a smile on my face, explaining to them as simply as possible what the next immediate step or exercise is. Their little immature minds would not begin to understand that the exercise in question would help strengthen their quadriceps eccentrically in order to facilitate descent when negotiating the stairs.

In the same way, I think God stands there quietly, smiling at us as He reveals one step at a time in the plan he has for us. We can barrage Him with “why” questions like I have been doing, or we can simply follow the next step and “complete the exercise”. God knows our finite minds cannot handle the explanations to the “why” questions and needs us to just trust Him.

In my job, I have developed great relationships with the kids I treat. And they slowly begin to trust me. I hope that one day they realize that the silly little exercises they didn’t want to do helped them get to where they are today. And as for me? Let’s just say I’m learning to ask far fewer questions.

“Love is the soul’s drug; music is the soul’s remedy.”

I actually enjoy that some of the best quotes remain anonymous. Those types of quotes may not have been said by some great man in some great speech but yet they still resound with the same truth and impact. I find it quite beautiful actually, as though these little snippets of human wisdom and enlightenment came from every day people just sharing and expressing truth to one another. One friend shared an idea with another, it stirred their soul and they shared the wisdom with another. It continues to trickle forth from there- no one man taking credit for this wisdom yet encouraging and enlightening others.

Love is the soul’s drug. I can agree with that; I think of the times when I wore a younger man’s clothes (yes, I know I’m only 22 but you will soon discover that throughout my writings I insert lyrical quotations. I won’t point all of them out to you. Consider this a freebie; everybody gets one). Anyway, we all know that love makes us do crazy things; the “high” is like none other. But I love the second part of that quotation: “music is the soul’s remedy”. Music in and of itself is a perplexing realm of beauty & truth. Music is the universal language; it conveys thoughts, ideas, and emotions where language barriers fail to do. It unites mankind. Music is the soul’s remedy for when our souls are troubled. We find comfort in listening to a song that sooths our hearts and minds.

It has been just over a month since my father suffered his heart attack which eventually led to his death. The last month has seemed surreal and my mind continues to sift through thoughts and images over that time. I tell each and every one of you that the prayers you offered out of love for a fellow brother in Christ was of great comfort to my wounded heart. And I ask that you would continue to pray for my family, that we would continue to trust in Him and find our comfort in His arms. There was a day after the funeral in which I was cleaning my room, headphones on and heart aching. I sat in my room on the floor, crying. I miss him, his smile, his laughter, the warmth of his love. I was listening to all sorts of worship music. And at that time of heartache and sorrow God used music to bring some healing to my soul. The David Crowder Band delivered healing through “Oh The Glory Of It All”. The line in the song “after all falls apart, He repairs” spoke to me of God’s love and how He is in control. While listening to “Grace” by Phil Wickham, my soul was crying out grateful for the grace that God has given to us, praying that His grace would continue to abound, in my life, my family, and those I love. I know the same grace that I live by is the grace that saved my father’s soul, the grace that has put him in the presence of our Savior and our God. The last song that turned my tears of sorrow into tears of joy was Chris Tomlin’s song “Glory in the Highest”. As the music swelled and the line “glory in the highest” continued to ring out, a smile was upon my face as God blessed me with the image of my dad in heaven. He is singing and dancing with great joy, rejoicing, for he is in the presence of the King. And I hear his voice, telling me to be sad and troubled no more for he has seen the risen Lord and He has told him that we are in His hands.

John 16:33

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Isaiah 64:8, “But now, O Lord, Thou art our father. We are the clay, and thou our potter.”

Over the past few months the subject of the potter and the clay has intrigued me. This is a symbol of the relationship between God and us, and His intricate plan that he has for our life. It is very humbling to think that we cannot create ourselves, and only God can construct us.

When the Potter searches for the clay he will use, he does not go to a convenient location. Instead, he looks in the depressing slum pits. There is no way for this clay to climb out of the pit alone. Likewise, we are unable to get out of our pits alone. But how awesome is it to know that if we cry out to the Lord he will hear us and raise us up out of our dark place! When He picks us up, he welcomes us with open arms, not focusing on who we were, but what we eventually will be.

Once the potter arrives back to his studio with his clay, the potter must wash, stomp on and beat the clay until it is soft enough to mold. This is why we should not be discouraged when it feels like we are being cleansed and beat up a little by circumstances in our lives; God is just preparing us for the next plan that he has for us.

Next, the potter puts his clay upon the wheel. As the potter begins to spin the wheel, his hands may begin to shake, which means the clay is not centered on the wheel properly. When the hands shake, it means that the clay is resisting against the potter, which can cause it to be thicker on one side than the other. This causes the vessel to eventually crack. I have seen this resistance in my own life. You can see with this illustration that when the clay is not centered around the Potter it will eventually crack. Similarly, we will never reach our full potential if we are not centered upon the rock of Jesus Christ. God doesn’t want to see a finished product that is cracked; he wants to stand back in awe of the beautiful and wholesome vessel that we have become.

As the potter begins to form the clay into the shape he wants it to be, he will apply pressure, working his way from the bottom to the top, always drawing the clay towards himself. As he draws the clay towards himself, he begins to work on the “heart” or the inside of the vessel. The more room that the potter makes inside of the vessel, the more the vessel can pour out. This is why it is so important to draw near to the Lord, allowing Him show us his heart, so that our hearts will be filled to the brim, eventually outpouring into others. Since we can’t pour more then we contain, I want to stay as close as I possibly can to the Lord, so my heart may be pure before him and he will daily use my vessel to pour into others.

As the potter has finished making shape to the once uninspiring clay, it must go through the fire. The clay may look pretty, but without going through the fire it has the strength to stand on it’s own, but will not be able to give to anyone else. The moment you pick it up or shake it a little, it will fall apart.

One of the coolest things I learned is that the potter never takes his hands off of the clay. How awesome is that! Our Father, the great and mighty God, will never let go of me. No matter how hot the fire is, if my vessel has a crack in it at the end of the process, he will start all over again, from scratch. If you have one crack or to many cracks to count, the Lord meets you where you are, repairs your cracks, and begins to make you new again.

Your experiences that you have faced, are facing, or will eventually face in life are only preparing you for the wonderful vessel that God desires you to be. Don’t resist God; this will only make the process take more time. Even though it may be very hard at times (and trust me, I weekly go through things that seem impossible), try to think positively that God’s hands are upon you every step of the way. Each time you will be one step closer to the finished product.

Only when you draw close to him in your daily walk, can you truly discover what your purpose really is. A few years ago I wrestled with God every moment of everyday, not knowing what my calling was on my life, but I realized that my walk was not right where it was supposed to be. As you draw closer and closer to him, he will begin to open doors that you thought were closed and use you in ways only God knows are possible. And the most awesome thing is that God will not forsake you even when you have done wrong- He will only embrace you like a loving father and begin to form you once again.

I woke up and she was crying on the edge of her bed, her frosted hair wrapped in curlers, flailing wisps spidering across her ears, forehead, the nape of her neck. The window held a tin blue sheen, glossy and iridescent. Shadows flickered gently on the wall in a slow march. Somewhere down the street a car hissed before quieting seconds later.

I shifted on the cot and squinted my eyes, hoping that neither saw me. The curtains shifted narrowly, exposing a thin sliver of moon. Soon it would be morning. My grandfather sat up in bed, cupped her shoulder, and gently laid her down flat before tucking her in again. He did it with such ease and delicacy that I wondered if this had become a routine for him.

Glimpses of my grandfather’s love are everywhere, most often in his gentle patience. He combs her hair. Helps her to choose the clothes she wears. Whispers what to say in conversation when he thinks that none of us are looking. I’m amazed at the amount of time sacrificed to repetition and the enshrinement of past memories. But he loves her. So he does it.

I can’t imagine the amount of pain this causes him, as his wife vacillates between freedom and stubborn uncertainty. To move forward in life and watch powerlessly as she lags behind. To feel helpless to heal and to continue forward anyway.

Perhaps this is what we’re all called to do, though: to continue forward when things seem to be at their worst, to love “impossibly,” to embrace these feelings of helplessness knowing that it is only through our own Healer that the possibility of a remedy exists.

I think that Satan uses the feeling of helplessness as a snare to keep us from doing God’s work. War. Genocide. Hunger. Poverty. Sexual violence. Nuclear weapons. Terrorism. Homelessness. It’s enough to make us retreat indefinitely. But our God loves justice. And He promises to maintain and uphold it.

Justice and love are inextricably linked. He “works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed” because of His boundless love for us (Psalm 103:6). Love propels His justice, as it should ours. And before we can even think about doing more, we have to learn how to offer this love to our neighbors.

Our neighbor is more than just the family over the chain link fence. He is the migrant worker in Southern California, the terrorist in Palestine, the homeless woman under the overpass. Our neighbor is often broken and beaten, whether by American materialism or a totalitarian government. Our neighbor craves love, whether he knows it or not. And it is this kind of love that we must helplessly depend on God for—a love that is not viable for most of us without the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit emboldens us with an extraordinary love, one that propels us to “preach good news to the poor… bind up the brokenhearted… proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners” (Isaiah 61:1). More simply that that, this extraordinary love allows us forgiveness, grace, compassion, and reconciliation.

The demise of the human race is unstoppable, much like the progression of Alzheimer’s disease. But also similar is the fact that we can be there to ease the process, to learn how to give away the radical love that was given to us by Christ.

We love Him. So we do it.