I’ve begun to realize lately how transient these slivers of life are. I feel like life as a twenty something provides nothing but change. Different job opportunities, new friendships, lost friendships, new apartments, beginnings and ends that just keep coming quicker and quicker. The anticipation is exciting; the unknown, a little bit scary.

I like change to a certain degree. I don’t ever want to feel rooted so strongly in something that I rebel against what the Spirit may call me to do. But these past few months certainly haven’t found me in my comfort zone. It’s strange to see friends all around me moving on, moving forward, and feeling so… stationary. To realize that God is working in my life and not be able to see any fruit from it just yet.

I find myself wondering what’s yet to come. How can I be preparing my heart for the journey that God has me on? I know that a good portion of that question is genuinely God honoring. I want my life to be the most fragrant and pleasing offering that I can give for Him. But what portion of this question is impatience with my God and His timing? Where is the line between preparing for the future and living in the future?

He’s been convicting me of this lately. But our God is so good. His voice is gentle; His embrace, comforting. The rebuke of our Father is often spoken with a soft tongue, and I smile because I know He’s right.

I want to be here now. Rather than anticipating change, I want to live it. What good is planning and anticipating the future when I’m missing out on the opportunities He’s laid at my feet today?

I want to be his living body- hands that wipe away tears, feet that reach lost friends. I want to be completely and wholly satisfied by my beautiful Jesus and nothing else. I could make all the plans in the world, but if my mind isn’t captivated by my Savior, I have nothing.

And so I take a step. It’s all that I can do.