One of my favorite items in my house is this piece of art that has Jesus knocking on a door. This is so significant to me. I grew up in a Christian home. I went to a Christian school. I did the right thing and talk the right way. I knew I was saved. I did the majority of things that good boys and girls do. Then, I transferred to a public high school. I was doing well, but during my sophomore year I started to choose the wrong paths. Count it to peer pressure or wanting to fit in or be loved by something that was never as good as God. I don’t know I can’t explain it. I knew what was right and wrong, but I still wrong things, which made me feel even more guilty. I knew Jesus and knew what he was and how much he loved us, but I still moved forward down the wrong path. I had the cops come to the house a couple times on some things. I was drinking and hanging around the wrong crowd. I was told that I either straightened up or I was out of the house at 18. Not seeing any other way, I cleaned up just enough and was just good enough to stay in the house and for harmony to exist. This existed all the way to college.

During college I still did the bad things and it got worse. I was getting drunk each weekend or more. I spent a lot of money, and I was partying while going to school and playing two sports. I was living life, but in my busy schedule I didn’t have time for God besides asking him to help me stop drinking because i drank to much. This happen all through my freshman year. I ended up getting mono from all the activities and not making time for rest. This led to the end of my football career because i didn’t have the strength in my shoulders. The same year (sophomore), I found out my father had cancer. So that year I lost one of my favorite activities (football) and found out my Dad cancer. I had talked to God but it was more topical in the past. This time it was intimate. It was tearful. I cried out to my God asking for help, and I remember praying for him to make me His! During this time that I was praying I could hear or have this thought in my head, basically saying that I needed to find a church. I was still praying, and my life was changing. I was having fun, but there was something missing. Something didn’t feel complete. This thought was constant even as i graduated and moved home. It finally was so big that I couldn’t bear it. This was 2005 summer, and I finally got the courage to ask someone about a church. That’s when they pointed me to Lighthouse.

I feel like God was knocking at my door saying, “Brian I want you. I love you. Come back to me.” It has been crazy to see things change and things move in and through me because of things that happened. I am not going to say I am perfect, but I can say this. I have been responding a lot faster and not waiting for the yell, but listening for the whisper. God is there knocking with the answers. He loves you and adores you and wants to love you unconditionally. I am so lucky he was persistent and knew my story and knew that I need him. I leave you with this: My voice cries out to you, but my souls cries are so loud for you that I can’t hear my voice. I want to hear you knock and I want to answer. I want to follow your lead and be willing to show unconditional love.