I was talking to one of the most warm-spirited individuals I’ve ever had the honor of sharing a conversation with the other day and she said something that I could totally identify with…

“I’m totally ready for 2008 to be done with. I feel as though I need a new year.”

I’ve been thinking lately about what I’ve learned in 2008. Mainly because everything I’ve learned in 2008 seems to have come to me in the last few weeks.

Maybe because I’ve had time to slow down and life’s lessons have had time to catch up and sink in. Sometimes life happens so fast and thoughts and actions blur through and become mixed with lessons and emotions and eye opening revelations and sometimes if we don’t stop and take a deep look at those blurs, we miss what’s really going on underneath the surface.

So here is my blur of 2008 and my attempt to share what I’ve learned.

Life is a bittersweet balance of both the beautiful and the tragic, the sane and the insane, the infuriating and the enlightening and so much more.

Sometimes people are going to let you down and hurt you. Sometimes people are going to do things that you won’t understand. That there will be plenty of times in which you will be left with this feeling of hurt, betrayal, and bitterness with head shaking and arms lifted wondering what just happened and why did it happen.

And that sometimes you are going to let people down and hurt them even though it’s not your intention. Sometimes you are prone to get into a funk, to get frustrated, to shut down and instead of opening up and sharing with those you love and care for, you end up taking it out on them, even when you don’t realize your doing it.

I’ve learned that when you do hurt people and when you do make mistakes the only thing you can do is admit your wrong, apologize, hope for forgiveness, and continue to work on mending things.

I’ve learned that mending things are worthwhile. That the friendships and relationships we have are worth wrestling through tension, that they are worth fighting for, they are worth laying down pride for, they are worth bearing forth in patience, humility, kindness, understanding, and love. That I would much rather be honest and confront the ugly tension then ignore it because through that tension relationships became deeper and more genuine.

They are worth all these things and so much more because those we can share life with, love with, laughter with, those moments, those people, they are truly a special blessing. And in your moments of need whether great or small, whether its sitting through days in a hospital waiting room or airing out frustrations of life, they are there for you.

I’ve learned that life is too short for petty differences, gossip, pettiness in general, pride, selfishness, laziness, pessimism and that I would much rather spend my days in laughter, love, encouragement then in gossip, drama, and bringing others down.

I’ve learned that taking the time to get to know someone is worth the effort instead of just assuming things about their personality and character on a surface level. And that when we take the time to truly get to know someone’s heart, the things they love, the things that make them come alive, the things they struggle with, when we share those things, we realize that the reward of friendship is well worth the work.

I’ve learned time well spent is time spent loving others. And having a conversation with someone just to let them know that you truly do love and care about them is more important than anything else you have to do on your “busy agenda.”

I’ve learned that my “busy schedule” needs to start taking a backseat when it comes to spending time with those I love instead of them being put on the backseat.

I’ve learned and need to continue to learn to manage my time.

I’ve learned that I love the students I get to work with and I don’t think I could ever tell them that enough and that I need to continue to remind them of how much I love and care about them.

I’ve learned that my niece is a picture of pure joy and that I need to learn from her that in the way that she trusts in others to provide for her, I need to trust in God to provide for me.

I’ve learned that worries should be replaced with “no worries!” and that not taking Christ at His words of “…seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” is a severe lack of faith.

I’ve learned that a mustard seed is a lot bigger then it seems and that more times then not I’m better at building mountains then having faith to the move them.

I’ve learned that grief has a funny way of catching up to you. That the hurt and sadness and brokenness from the loss of my father will never truly go away.

And that I never want it to go away because that foundation of brokenness has allowed me to come to the realization that life is a gift, a beautiful gift made even sweeter by the presence of a powerful God and the living Christ and the comforting Spirit.

I’ve learned that I may not always have the honor of sharing in these moments with such fine people and that these moments need be cherished and that’s why the pettiness and gossip and drama is meaningless and why the tension is worth wrestling through.

I’ve learned that my family is a blessing from God and that I love them. More and more each day I wish I could take away their pain.

I’ve learned that I can’t take away their pain but I can hug them and hang with them and love them and kiss them and laugh with them. And truly there’s not much more I would rather do but spend time with them.

I’ve learned that someone cannot be hugged enough.

I’ve learned that telling someone “I love you” is better off being said too much then not being said nearly enough or not at all.

I’ve learned and continue to learn that God is beautiful, holy, great and mighty.

I’ve learned that God has a lot of things to show and teach me and I need to continue to learn to just be still and listen.

I’ve learned and continue to learn that God is good and His grace is sufficient for me.

I’ve learned and continue to learn that God has blessed me, not because I have ever done anything to deserve so but because Love is who He is.

In closing, I want to say that I love you all and that I’m grateful to be able to share these moments, these lessons, and this life with you. Know that I lift you up in prayer whether by name or by the fact that I can call you a brother and sister in Christ or a brother and sister in life. And please know my desire is to share in life and love and laughter with all of you and know that my heart yearns to spend more time with you all and it grows heavy when I am not able to do so but know that does not mean that you are any less cared about and know that I will continue to work on managing my schedule and keeping my weariness in check so that you will continue to know and be shown the love I have for you, the love that comes from Christ.

“I guess I could be pretty ticked off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my little life… You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry… you will someday.”

Thank you for making this life beautiful; I thank God for all of you.