I never watch the news. The weather is never really that accurate, most of the news stations (and TV stations, for that matter) are basically controlled by a few people with hidden agendas. Whenever my roommate watches the news, it seems so predictable to me: someone murdered his family and then turned the gun on himself; over here a crazed man walked into a coffee shop and slaughtered several police officers; over there a girl and guy were convicted and sentenced to twenty years in prison after they killed and brutally raped someone else. Then there is always the classic story on the news about something inside the house that is going to kill you. It seems to me that they are trying to induce fear to everyone…

What I like even less than the news are the commercials. It hurts me a lot to think about how unguided the generation growing up behind us is. They are being herded like sheep stripped of their innocence and slaughtered morally. I see how the ‘FCC’ is in the pockets of big business. Everyone knows that sex sells - big business pays to make sure they can advertise that way. I see how the ‘FDA’ will approve products like anti-depressants - almost all of them have more side effects than I care to rattle off, or products that may permanently change the color of your retina BUT that’s ok because they can remove wrinkles. “They” want us to fit into their cookie cutter shape of society.

I was once unguided myself, and I lived the way the world does. The bad thing is that I couldn’t see the power of my influence over my siblings and younger cousins. Lil’ Wayne is my favorite rapper; now my fourteen-year-old sister idolizes him. I partied hard in high school; now my cousin does, and he’s not going to graduate this year like he’s supposed to. I made the choice to drink every drop of Jack Daniels out of those bottles, only to stuff them full of emotional waste, twisting the cap on tight & tossing the bottles into my soul. I made the choice to smoke my sorrows away until I was coughing up pieces of lung. I made the choice to pop enough pills to lie there motionless, numb to everything good or bad. I was at war with myself.

I think everyone reaches these points of battle. Everyone has a different battle they face, at different times, for different reasons. I could sit here and feed you (or influence you to think) that it has everything to do with nature vs. nurture, good spirits vs. bad spirits, the Light vs. the darkness. The truth is that there is no one instance that is THE answer to the inner turmoils we face being humans. Our struggle is perpetual. We are good and bad at the same time. We all have our indicative downfalls. We cannot see it, but our decisions make ripple effects that we cannot begin to imagine or perceive.

When God gave us breath to live, He gave us the choice to go along with it. I could choose not to breathe, but on the other hand, life would obviously become rather short. God also gave us innate characteristics - barriers, if you will - to help us along when times get tough. If we are knocked out, our respiratory system will tell our lungs to breath and our hearts to beat. God gave us light, and it battles the darkness whether we realize it or not.

What I’m trying to say is this: find a path that has heart in it and pursue that. You will know when it’s time to change.

Despite the massive amounts of influence America holds over our head, I believe the key is expectation. I don’t expect the news to change; therefore, I don’t get angry when I hear or see it. I don’t expect the government to regulate our media, food, medicines, money or anything else fairly or without corruption. I cannot expect the past to change. I set my expectations appropriately, that helps me use my energy as productively and proficiently as possible. It helps me to live the serenity prayer.