I’m writing this after taking my last slot in the prayer room.  It’s a bittersweet feeling. I’m partly sad that it’s over, but as I reflect over all God has taught me through my prayer room experiences I’m excited for the next step in the spiritual lives of our group and in my own life.

Prayer has been redefined for me. My prayer life was somewhat lacking before. I’d mostly pray a lot of short prayers. Like many people I’ve talked to, I wondered at first how I would be able to pray for one hour, let alone two or three. I was amazed at how easy it was and how fast the time went. I felt that the lines between prayers bookended with “Dear God” and “Amen” gave way to prayers that encompassed so much more - worship through music and art, writing, reading the Bible, spending time in His presence. I felt God telling me to be persistent and pray for one single thing for an hour straight, and marveled at how easy and fulfilling it was.

I also now have a clearer picture of my purpose in life. There were certain subjects that I read on the wailing wall that broke my heart. Certain themes kept coming up in my prayers. I feel like these are what’s burdened on my heart, and there’s a passion for certain hurts and people that I never fully realized was there. I know now God will use me somehow through this. I hope as you reflect on your own prayer life, you’ll find your passions drift to the forefront as well, and that you pursue them.

As the end of 40 crept closer, I wondered how I could keep the things I loved about the prayer room going. Praying, worshiping and reading the Bible can be done anywhere, but I found myself wondering how I was going to extend the human element. One of the things I loved about that room was the connection I felt to others in the collective. Reading and praying over the writing on the walls - how would I regain something like that outside of the prayer room?

I now realize that this isn’t something to be missed when 40 is over, but that human element is what we need to strive for now that we can’t rely on scrawling on a wall to pray for others. There’s so much hurt in our group that I had no idea about. It has challenged me to go deeper in my relationships.  I shouldn’t need anonymous handwriting to give me something to pray for, but deeper connections with other believers. We need to love each other, pray for each other, share our hurts, our experiences, our praises. I’ve been praying for the needs of people I’m probably friends with, but have no idea of their hurts and struggles. The wailing wall and journals were only a start, now it’s up to us to continue praying for each other now that the “middleman” of the wailing wall is gone.

As I looked around the prayer room tonight, I saw the contrast from my first time in there. It looked very different. The walls are covered in writing, paintings are hung up on every available space with some being piled on the floor. The candles are burnt out, the journal is full and has spilled over into a new one. The Bible we are reading through is used, highlighted, underlined - the margins filled with thoughts on the Holy Scriptures. Our cries of worship, our prayers and laments have filled several large boards with writing. This room can no longer contain us, it’s bursting at the seams, waiting for our passion to break forth. Instead of being sad that the room is going away, we should see it as the Lighthouse Collective has outgrown the room. Now it’s time to take that passion into the world around us.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”  And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” Isaiah 6:8